Dear Letter Writters
by snarryislife
Summary: Lord Voldemort's responses to the Dear Lord Voldemort Letters
1. Chapter 1

**Dear Letter Writters**

**Snarryislife**

**Standard Disclaimers Apply**

**Howdy! So , yeah, here we are, the responses to the Dear Lord Voldemort Letters. **

**Send yours in, just make sure you put which letter your replying too!**

* * *

Dear Judy,

I'm sure your eyes are as pretty as mine. Your sister sound's like a dumbass. And I killed your Mommy.

Love,

Lord Voldemort

Evil Overlord

* * *

**Original Letter:**

Dear Lord Voldemort.

Mommy says we have to be nice to everyone we meet. She says we have to complement everyone no matter how much we don't like them. So, Mommy told me that every morning when I wake up, I have to write a list of the people I want to compliment, and then compliment five people not on my list.

I put you on my list today, at the top, because you always look sad. When I'm sad, Mommy gives me a hug and a kiss and tells me everything will get better, did your mommy never do that foy you? So, I asked Kat to give you a hug and a kiss after you read this letter. She's my big sister, and when Mommy's at work, and I feel sad, or have an owie, Kat always makes me feel happy, and puts a band-aid on the owie.

You have pretty eyes. When I'm a big girl, I want pretty eyes like yours.

Love,  
Judy


	2. Chapter 2

**Dear Letter Writters**

**Snarryislife**

**Standard Disclaimers Apply**

**Howdy! So , yeah, here we are, the responses to the Dear Lord Voldemort Letters. **

**Send yours in, just make sure you put which letter your replying too!**

* * *

Dear Someone Who Hates My Guts,

And this is why I'm hott. I'm Hott cuz I live, you ain't cuz you not. This is why, this is why, this is why I'm hott.

*Avada Kedavra*

Sincerely,

Voldemort Bitch

* * *

**Original Letter:**

Dear Lord Voldemort:

You completely, utterly, doubtlessly, suck. What type of a demented madman  
(or Dark Lord) tortures his followers? You are really stupid. Go die in a  
deep, dark pit.

Sincerely,

Someone who hates your guts


	3. Chapter 3

**Dear Letter Writters**

**Snarryislife**

**Standard Disclaimers Apply**

**Howdy! So , yeah, here we are, the responses to the Dear Lord Voldemort Letters. **

**Send yours in, just make sure you put which letter your replying too!**

* * *

Dear Oleander

Report to the throne room at 3pm to receive your Dark Mark.

Report to my chambers at 8pm.

Your Master

* * *

**Original Letter:**

Lord,

I offer myself completely into your service. I believe my intellect and skills may be useful to you in pursuit of your goals. I offer myself to you, because to me, no one can compare. While I have the ability and drive to make my own way, I wish to serve you and in turn achieve the greatness that can only be achieved with your guidance and instruction.

Your magic enthralls me. Your very presence emanates power. It would be my greatest honor to be made one of your own.

Already yours,

Oleander


	4. Chapter 4

**Dear Letter Writters**

**Snarryislife**

**Standard Disclaimers Apply**

**Howdy! So , yeah, here we are, the responses to the Dear Lord Voldemort Letters. **

**Send yours in, just make sure you put which letter your replying too!**

**From Ghost**

* * *

Dear Cookie Dealer,

I do apologize for the delay in making my order. I had to have Bellatrix take care of few things, picking up laundry and cleaning the iron maiden, as well organize our annual "Little Miss Death Eater" pagent, which I noticed you weren't in. Young Draco won, such a proud day for his family. I remember when I won it myself...good times. Now as for the cookies, I will have the usual 100 boxes of peanut butter patties. They are the perfect snack after a long day of ridding the world of trash like muggles. I do hope you win the bicycle my dear.

Your faithful servant,

Lord Voldemort

P.s. When will you teach me more of the evil ways of the Girl Scouts? After witnessing first hand what horrors you are capable of I feel even more inspired and optomistic about taking over the world. Who knew cute little girls could be so evil...and over a cookie no less?

* * *

**Original Letter:**

Dear Mr. Voldemort,

This is Isabella Shepard from Girlscout troop 44644. We noticed that you haven't sent in your annual order of cookies. Why? Aren't cookies the only way you got people to join "The Dark Side?"

There's only a week left for orders, so please send your form ASAP. Remember what happened last time you were too late?...

Your cookie supplier,

Isabella Shepard

P.S. Have you just given up? Because that's no reason to not order cookies. I reeeeeally want the bike this year. It's pink, with streamers, AND a basket! A BASKET! Please order! :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Dear Letter Writters**

**Snarryislife**

**Standard Disclaimers Apply**

**Howdy! So , yeah, here we are, the responses to the Dear Lord Voldemort Letters. **

**Send yours in, just make sure you put which letter your replying too!**

**From LetItSnow**

* * *

Dear filthy,slimy, unloyal (The list goes on)wormtail

I fail to see how a rat and a snake reproduce, also as Nagini is actually one of my horcruxes you would be, in face, marrying a part of my soul which I find deeply disturbing.

Your Master

P.S I will not be attending the wedding; I have better things to do.

* * *

**Original Letter:**

Dear Master,

You are invited to the wedding of me and Nigini. We will be related, isn't that great my Lord!

Your faithful servent,

Wormtail


	6. Chapter 6

**Dear Letter Writters**

**Snarryislife**

**Standard Disclaimers Apply**

**Howdy! So , yeah, here we are, the responses to the Dear Lord Voldemort Letters. **

**Send yours in, just make sure you put which letter your replying too!**

**From hermione-amelia-rose1479 **

* * *

Dear Mother's Club,

Thank you for adding me, Are there any older issues? Bella has one, I simply must have the glove patterns. I demand that you kick Dumbledore out. OR ELSE.

Might I also add, Red and Gold is not the latest trend. Silver and Green will take over the world.

Lord Voldemort

* * *

**Original Letter:**

Dear Lord Voldemort,

You have applied for our 'Mother's Club' knitting sessions. Would you like a free copy of our magazine ?

*Contents*

*Knit your own beanie*  
*Our Trendy Scarfs*  
*Basic Patterns*  
*RED AND GOLD SPECIAL* *It's The trend*

Your members include: Peter Pettigrew, Bellatrix Lestrange, Lucius Malfoy, Albus Dumbledore, Delores Umbridge

-Love from the Mother's Club head, Marigold Whirp


End file.
